


Imagine

by lunalena



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Deserved Better, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, TRoS Spoilers, Tros fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunalena/pseuds/lunalena
Summary: Re-imagining the ending of The Rise of Skywalker with a happy ending.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 427





	1. Chapter 1

Ben gazed down at Rey’s lifeless form and felt the bond between them begin to fray.

The force pulsed and strained as the tendrils that bound them began to unravel. He held her to him, lightly rocking, and felt more lost than he had ever before. Ben lost everything.

His uncle, to fear of him.

His father, to his own blade.

His mother.

Now Rey.

Ben had always been full of rage, the potent emotion constantly swimming under the surface. It was what Snoke, or Palpatine, had used to prod him. Now, he felt empty. Like a burnt-out husk. How could he be here, left behind, when Rey was being taken away? Rey, who was light and life and endless determination while he was a wounded, broken thing. It was as he was cradling her, rubbing his chin against her hair, that he realized what he had to do.

He settled her in his lap and placed a hand upon her abdomen, willing the force which had always come so easy to him to do his bidding. He willed his very life force to leave his body, to transfer to her. Rey deserved to live. She deserved to smile. She deserved to live her own life, a life where she wasn’t bound to Jakku or bound to duty and the Resistance. She deserved to find her own way.

“You’ll destroy yourself if you keep that up,” said a voice from behind him.

Ben didn’t turn to see who had spoken. He would know that voice anywhere, for it was the voice of the man who had inflicted so much pain upon him with his betrayal. Uncle Luke, his ghostly body shimmering in the grey half-light, looked over his shoulder at Rey. Ben felt another ripple in the force, and it tugged on his heart. Her force signature was pure light, nearly as blinding as Rey’s.

“Like hell he will,” said his mother.

Leia placed her hand on his cheek and angled his head so that she could look into his eyes. Infinite love shown there, a sight Ben thought he’d never see again. She didn’t ask if he was sure. His mother had always known his heart. As she placed her hand on his shoulder, he felt her power begin to seep into him. To his surprise, Uncle Luke mirrored her actions. The Skywalker twins stood on either side of him, their hands resting on his shoulders, using their remaining control of the force to push life inside of him. He channeled it all into Rey.

“I should have come sooner.”

The third voice was unfamiliar. Yet Ben had yearned to hear it all his life. When he looked up this time, Anakin Skywalker stood looking at Rey. Sorrow filled his eyes, and Ben knew he was picturing his own beloved. Uncle Luke smiled at his father unbidden, and Anakin took that as invitation. He stood beside his son and placed his hand on his grandson’s shoulder. The power of the four of them, the four Skywalkers, merged and twined within Ben. And he knew it would be enough. For Rey, and even though he dared not wish it, maybe for him too.

He watched the color return to her cheeks, her freckles reappear. Her fingers began to grip his. At last, her eyes opened.

His family was gone in the next blink, but he knew they remained. They would always remain. He could feel them watching, and now, after this act, the love he felt in his heart for them was a bit lighter. No longer a complicated tangle of love and hate and guilt and regret that poisoned him. He was…happy.

Rey sat up in his arms, her weight warm against him. He wanted to run his hands over her, convince himself that she was alive, but didn’t know how she’d respond. Then she smiled, a full, bright, endless smile that caused his heart to still and his own lips to curl in answer. “Ben,” she murmured, and that smile was in her voice, too.

She clasped his face in her hands and pulled her toward him, and then she was kissing him. Her lips warm on his, her hands on his skin, Ben had never felt more powerful, more beloved. His wonderful, brazen, light-filled Rey was alive. And somehow, someway, she felt for him what he felt for her.

Rey pulled away much too quickly, her lips swollen from the kiss. Despite the loss of her kiss, Ben could only smile. The full, somewhat-boyish smile that had made his mother pinch his cheeks when he was a boy. He wasn’t embarrassed to show her the smile. Every time he showed her more of Ben, she was happy. And he realized that he was happy to be Ben again too.

Rey ran her fingertips over his face, tracing his brow, his nose, his jaw, before running her fingers through his hair. “What did you do?” she murmured, her voice a whisper in the tomb-like room.

“I healed you as you healed me…” before he could explain further, Rey surged to her knees, her hands tightening in his hair. “That’s impossible, I was dead! If you tried to do that you would have killed yourself and…” Ben silenced her by stealing a kiss. He quite liked how impertinent she was.

“I was planning to do that. But then I had help. My mother, Uncle Luke, my grandfather…they came to help me. They saved you.” Astonishment was a flicker in her gaze, and Ben could tell she was at once alarmed and excited. Apparently, the alarm won out. She pulled back to push at his shoulders. “You shouldn’t kill yourself to save me, you idiot!”

Ben caught her hands and put them back on his face. He liked her petting. “You like hurting me, don’t you?”

Rey tried to smother her laugh and failed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Destroying my ship and nearly blowing me up, fighting me in my own quarters, stabbing me. Those are just the most recent incidents.”

A blush colored Rey’s cheeks. As if to make up for the tumultuous nature of their relationship, Rey leaned forward to kiss him again. Ben thought that he would endure much more for that kiss.

“I mean it though,” she whispered against his lips, her breath warm, “you can’t die.”

It had been a long time since someone had seen Ben in this way; as someone to care for rather than a tool to be used. He had no plans to die, not when he could kiss Rey again, when he could watch her create her own path and maybe even be a part of it. He wanted to live too.

Ben stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. “Okay.”

Rey’s brows pulled together, his answer obviously not enough for his obstinate creature. “You’re Ben now. You’re mine. I don’t want to say goodbye to anyone else. Especially not you.” Her last words were a whisper.

_You’re mine now._

“I’m not sure I have a place in this new world.”

He used to be a smuggler’s son and a prince. Then he was an apprentice of the dark side, the leader of the First Order. Now he was just Ben. He didn’t know what place was left for him.

Rey grabbed his hand, entangled their fingers. “We’ll make one,” she said.

It was a promise. 


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re sure you’ll be alright?”

Ben didn’t look up from where he leaned against a log, reading the old Jedi texts by firelight.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not as if I’m a war criminal amidst a bunch of Resistance fighters.”

Rey frowned, because that was exactly what he was. Well, what the other Resistance fighters would consider him to be. To her, he was Ben. To her, he had killed Kylo Ren, the enemy of the Resistance. She still didn’t find his joke funny, however.

“That’s not funny.”

Ben primly flicked a page, seemingly unbothered by her agitation. “I don’t know, I thought it was pretty good.”

He found no problem with remaining at their campsite, mere miles from the Resistance’s celebratory party. He knew that he could defeat any adversary, and Rey found that confidence…strange. For one, she knew from their bond that he was constantly at war with himself, unsure of his place in the world. Yet his confidence in his ability remained unchanged. Rey also found her reaction to his confidence, or arrogance, perplexing. It stirred something within her, pride twisted with something darker, needier.

“What are you going to do if someone approaches?”

Rey was loath to leave him here alone, even if only for a couple of hours. Her presence would be expected at the gathering and people would wonder if she failed to appear. So she had to go, even if she’d much rather remain here with Ben. Days after the final battle, Rey still watched him in wonder. Even though she was the one who had died, Rey often felt herself marveling at his presence at her side. Ben was here, with her, and happy. Kylo Ren was gone and their bond no longer felt like a burden but something exciting, something to be cherished. They’d spent their days at a makeshift campsite along Rey’s old training course, far enough from the base to be safe from detection but close enough that Rey could easily reach the base and check in with Finn, Poe, and the others. Yet even when she met them, part of her remained with Ben. Whenever she left the bond seemed to flare to life, rising to the surface of their minds as the physical distance between them grew. To others, she imagined it would feel like a leash. To Rey, who had spent nearly her entire existence alone, it felt miraculous.

“I’ll force choke them to death.”

“ _Ben_.”

At last he looked up and, seeing her expression, the worry in her gaze, closed the book and rose. He strode around the fire to her, cupped her cheek. Rey leaned into it, marveling at how the bond tightened whenever they touched, how she felt warm all over. Their touches had been sparse since their kiss on Exogol, when they’d both been too elated to stop themselves. Now, they were both unsure how to move beyond their unlikely friendship into the soul-bound relationship they had been destined for since birth. They were deadly fighters and powerful force users, but when it came to affection, both had been starved for too long for it to come easily or without worry of rejection.

“I promised you that I would behave and so I will. I won’t do anything to upset you, Rey.”

As his thumb stroked over her cheekbone, Rey felt the certainty in his words. She felt his utter adoration and loyalty. That loyalty had been abused by Snoke and the First Order, but Rey would never abuse it. She knew that he would do nearly anything she asked, but she didn’t see that as power over him. She saw it as a gift. _Ben Solo_ was a gift, and it was time people started realizing it.

“I think you should talk to Chewie tomorrow. You’re the only family he has left.” Unspoken was the fact that Chewie was also the only family Ben had left…besides Rey.

Ben’s jaw tightened, his gaze skimming away from Rey’s and into the trees behind her. “I think he’d prefer me dead.”

Rey heard the pain in his voice, the guilt he still carried. He hadn’t forgiven himself completely, and so he refused to believe that Chewie had. She ran her hand down his chest to his abdomen, to where Chewie’s blaster bolt had struck him. “He’ll forgive you, Ben. He will want to know that you’re back. I know it.”

His eyes at last returned to hers, and Rey saw a hesitant hope flicker to life there. “And with you and Chewie on good terms, we could stay in the Falcon instead of out here on the ground.”

Ben’s lips twitched as he tried to hold back his smile. “So that’s what you’re after? Not a familial reconciliation but better sleeping arrangements?”

“Can’t it be both?”

Ben rubbed his thumb over her smile lines, the touch infinitely tender. “I’ll think about it.”

Unable to resist, Rey stood on tiptoe to kiss him quickly on the lips. Ben had a somewhat dumbstruck look on his face when she spun away into the trees. “I’ll be back in a few hours!” she called over her shoulder.

His response was a light tug on the bond.

As Rey made her way to the base, her mood remained joyful despite the distance from Ben. She had never been so hopeful. They could go anywhere, do anything. Most importantly, she’d never be alone again. All they needed was a ship. She hoped it would be the Falcon, that Chewie would join them, but if his and Ben’s reconciliation didn’t work out, they would find something else. Now that the First Order and Palpatine were destroyed, Rey felt blissfully liberated. She had a duty to nothing and no one except herself. She wanted to explore, and Ben had promised to show her the galaxy. As the son of a princess and a smuggler, he had been to places Rey had never even heard of.

The only thing that held her back, that gave her pause, was her newfound friends. Finn and Poe and Rose would accept her desire to explore the galaxy, to find herself, even encourage it. But with Ben by her side? She dreaded their reaction; part of her knew that there was a good chance things would turn ugly. And if Rey was forced to choose, she knew that she’d choose Ben. She just hoped she wouldn’t have to.

 _Chewie first, then the others_ , she reminded herself.

The celebration was in full swing by the time she arrived. The hundreds of Resistance fighters, along with those who had heard the final call for assistance, were gathered around a massive fire in a clearing outside the base. Ships of every size cast shadows across the gathering and somewhere in the tumult Rey could make out the beat of drums. She could see Finn and Rose seated near the fire, with Finn smiling, his heart in his eyes, as Rose animatedly told a story. In the shadows cast by his X-wing, Poe jogged after Zorii, a smile on his face. BB8 was with R2 and C-3PO, the former two beeping away as they tried to help C-3PO make sense of his memories.

Rey stood before the fire, watching it all. These people had become her entire world. She had been thrown from a solitary existence into the heart of a resistance that was also a family. They loved her and she loved them, but she still felt apart. Before Ben, that thought would make her sad. She had thought that the long years on Jakku had broken her, ruined her ability to connect completely. Now she knew that she had just been missing a piece.

Ben appeared across the fire from her, her thoughts awakening the bond to create a force vision. She smiled at him and though she knew it strained him to be apart, especially after her death, he murmured, “have fun. I’ll be waiting.” The others and the noise they brought reappeared a moment later and Ben faded away.

“I told you he’d come back,” said a wizened voice from behind her.

Rey turned to find Maz there, staring up at her, a knowing and somewhat smug look in her eyes.

Rey turned fully and crossed her arms over her chest. “No, you told me _someone_ would come back. In fact, everything you said was moderately vague and only served to confuse me.”

Maz stood her ground. “Your eyes were not yet open.”

“And are they know?”

Maz’s hand gripped her own. “Yes, dear girl, they are.”

Rey’s eyes grew hot. Maz’s kindness and warmth reminded her of Leia. They were both tough women who also held a deep maternal kindness. Rey wondered if she would be like that one day, or if perhaps she already was.

Maz squeezed her hand before letting go. “He’s here?”

Panic flared through Rey, tightening her gut. “What do you mean?”

Maz saw through her blustering immediately and merely cocked a brow. “We both know I can sense him. Boy’s force signature has always been a bit ostentatious.”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh and Maz turned away, making her way to the path Rey had taken to reach the base. “Maz, I don’t think that’s a good idea!”

Maz waved a hand at Rey, brushing off her concern.

*******

Ben was standing by the fire when Maz Kanata appeared in the small clearing that was his and Rey’s. He had felt her approach, recognized the strange aura that surrounded Maz.

“Ben Solo,” she said, striding right up to stand in front of him despite the kink it likely put in her neck.

“Maz Kanata.”

Ben wasn’t sure what she wanted; payment for her castle being destroyed? He hadn’t seen her since he was a boy, and even then, their relationship had only been through his parents. She had never known _him_ , not as Lando did. Ben could feel Lando here too, and he wondered if Rey wanted him to meet with Lando in addition to Chewie. Ben wondered if _he_ wanted to reunite with Lando. If Lando and Chewie rejected him…

_No._

He would not turn back to the dark side, try to submerge his emotions in power. He had to learn to handle them. He would never be completely light, but he had promised Rey that he wouldn’t return to the dark. He would not break a promise to Rey.

“You caused your mother much grief,” Maz said quietly, and it was a punch to Ben’s gut.

His mother, his sweet and strong mother. The princess and the general. Though anger born of feelings of abandonment still burned within him, probably always would, he accepted that she had done her best to save him. They had all made mistakes. He only hoped he could make her proud. Ben had accepted that, that all that was left was to make her proud now that she was gone, and it helped contain his grief. Barely.

It made Maz’s words hurt more. With Rey, he was able to convince himself that his mother had forgiven him. But when Maz, blunt-as-hell Maz, reminded him of the pain he had caused her, all of Ben’s rage and grief returned. He couldn’t articulate that, didn’t really want to, and so he deflected.

“And what of my grief? What of my pain?”

Ben’s anger was a ferocious thing inside him, because it was caustically mixed with pain and guilt and regret. And so when he should have stopped, when he should have guarded his words and emotions, he continued.

“It’s so easy for you to say that I hurt my mother, my family. You, Lor San Tekka, probably Lando too, all of you blame me. You hate me for what I did and the pain I caused. But what of my pain? You are all so quick to judge me, yet where were you all when I was having my mind raped by Snoke or Palpatine or whoever the fuck it was? Where were you when I was sent away to my uncle so that he could save me? Where were you when that savior turned on me?”

When he finally stopped for breath, Ben realized he had been pacing. He clenched his fists, willing his anger to subside. He felt Rey’s presence in his mind, attempting to soothe him. Because he could deny her nothing, he let her.

Maz remained quiet, her hands behind her back.

“Many mistakes were made, Ben Solo. I blame only Palpatine for the evil he spread. Though I do blame you for destroying my castle.”

Ben scoffed.

“It has been many years since I knew Ben Solo. I won’t pretend to know you now. But I know Chewie, and he grieves. I think he would be pleased to find you are alive and…whole again.”

Ben didn’t reply.

“I brought this for you,” she said, and laid a bundle of cloth on a nearby log. Ben waited to approach it until she was out of sight. Then he strode forward, his heart pounding, and picked up his mother’s cape. It still bore the Resistance pin. It still smelled like her.

Ben wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to destroy something.

But she wouldn’t want him to do any of that, and he no longer wanted to be that person. So he clutched the fabric to his chest, breathed deeply, then placed the cape in his small pack.

********

Rey returned to the camp to find Ben staring into the firelight. She had expected the forest surrounding the clearing to be at least mildly damaged, so his conversation with Maz had to have gone better than she thought.

She could feel Ben’s emotions through the bond, and they were a chaotic but no longer caustic mix. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you.”

“I don’t think anything can prepare someone for Maz Kanata, least of all a warning.”

Rey chuckled and strode to her mat and nest of blankets. She curled into them, grateful to be out of the chill.

“You aren’t tired?”

Ben shrugged.

Rey knew he’d stare into the fire all night if he could, turning everything over in his mind, causing himself more pain. The same part of her that had leaped to the surface to pull Ben Solo into a kiss awoke then, and Rey pulled her blankets back.

“I’m cold.”

Ben jerked to attention and stood. “I’ll get more wood.”

Rey sighed. He could be so dense sometimes, but she refused to be deterred. He needed warmth and comfort, and Rey wanted to give it to him.

“No. Will you join me?”

She could have sworn he stumbled. “You want me to join you?”

Rey just flapped her blankets in response, her confidence spent. She had gone so long without physical affection, and she didn’t want to beg for it now.

Her heart leaped in her chest when Ben walked over and stripped off his jacket. He slid into her blankets, a massive, warm presence she wanted to curl against. When he put an arm around her, she did.

They slept curled around each other, her face pressed to his chest, his arm around her, and their legs entwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any reylo fic recommendations, please comment them! Teacher/student AUs are my favorite but I'll read anything!


	3. Chapter 3

Rey woke in Ben’s arms, his heartbeat against her cheek. His hand stroked softly up and down her spine.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long.”

Rey pushed onto an elbow so that she could see his face. His brows were pulled taut, his expression pensive. Her nervousness at touching him soothed by a night spent curled around him, Rey rubbed at the lines creasing his forward.

“You look broody.”

“I don’t want to meet with Chewie until I’ve done something to make up for what I did,” he murmured, his voice quiet amongst the morning birdsong.

“You’ve been making up for your crimes for a while, Ben. You killed Snoke and the Knights of Ren. You saved my life.”

Ben ripped his hand away from her back, as if his touch would contaminate her. When next he spoke, Rey realized why. “And what of my father, Rey? How can I possibly make up for that?”

Her heart clenched at the pain that she heard in his voice. She sunk back down, curled into his side. “You can’t,” she whispered softly. She felt Ben flinch, but they both knew it to be true. No matter what Ben did, he would always carry guilt. It didn’t matter that he had helped destroy the most evil beings in the galaxy, or that he had destroyed the version of himself that was responsible for Han’s death. Ben would never forgive himself. He wasn’t built that way; Rey suspected his powerful heart had the ability to forgive everyone except himself.

“You’re always going to feel guilt and pain, Ben. The only thing you can do is lessen it.”

Ben’s hand returned to her back, and a hopeful note returned to his voice. “And how do I do that?”

Rey ran her fingers over his abdomen, circling the spot where his blaster bolt scar lay before she healed him. “You accept that your parents forgive you. That Luke does, and I do. And Chewie will too. I believe that.”

The bond pulsed between them, fluctuating with the emotions Ben was trying to contain so they didn’t seep into her. Rather than blocking him, Rey rode the currents like waves.

“You are entirely too hopeful for someone who has lived a solitary existence on the hottest, most sand-blasted planet in the galaxy.”

Rey let his deflection slide, glad to hear his teasing tone. “Good thing you are so grim. Balance is essential, after all.”

Ben just groaned. “Sanctimonious Jedi bullshit?”

Rey recalled him a few nights prior, reading the texts. He had claimed that it was because he lacked any other reading material, but Rey remembered the way he had run a thumb along his lip, his face a mask of concentration as he read a passage on hypothetical abilities. How he’d scoffed at parts and grinned at others, ones he remembered from his studies as a padawan.

“Something like that.”

They were quiet for a while after that, content to be together, snug and warm, as the sky turned from grey to blue and other creatures began to wake and join the birds. “What are you planning?”

She knew he had some idea as to how to begin to make up for his misdeeds, that he wouldn’t have mentioned it if the idea wasn’t fully-formed. Still, she was stunned when he responded.

“I can give the Resistance a list of upper-level First Order personnel and places they’ll likely run. Stormtrooper training bases, too.”

As the remnants of the First Order scattered across the galaxy, that information would be invaluable, yet… “How can you do that? You believed in it.”

Ben pinched his nose, let out a long-suffering sigh. “I don’t know anymore. I still think the New Republic is weak,” he paused at Rey’s glare, “but the First Order isn’t the solution. I believed in power, and Snoke and the Order represented it. The others…I think they only believed in power too. They will be a threat to whatever peace you all want to establish.”

It struck her then that Ben believed she’d remain with the Resistance, see the re-establishment of the New Republic through, when in actuality she was more than ready to leave. Ready to _begin._

“You all?”

Ben turned to her then, his expression puzzled. “Don’t you plan on staying with the Resistance?”

“If I do? You’d stay here for the coming years?” They both knew that neither of them would stand for being separated.

Ben turned away. “Maybe I enjoy living in a clearing and reading sanctimonious Jedi texts.”

Rey laughed and watched as Ben smiled in response. “You lie.”

With a swiftness that startled her, Ben pulled her over him so that their bodies lay flush. “Tell me what I want then, Rey.”

She pushed his hair off his forehead, marveled at its softness. “You want to help me build my own lightsaber and train. I can feel how pent up you are, how much not using your power hurts you.”

“You’re missing something.”

When Rey looked at him in question, Ben smiled that boyish smile that made her heart stutter. “You, Rey.”

She felt her cheeks redden, would’ve turned her face away if he hadn’t caught her chin. “And what do you want, Rey? Do you want to stay with the Resistance?”

“No. It might sound bad, but it’s the truth. I want to see the galaxy finally, figure out my place in it. And though I will always have a place in the Resistance through my friends, I don’t want it to define me. And after we explore…”

“What?” he asked, his fingers sliding from her chin to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“When we were on Pasaana, I saw a group of Aki-Aki being taught. They looked so happy and…I think that maybe, someday, I might like to do that for Force users.”

She could see how Ben pulled away, shrunk into himself. Yet still he tried, for her. “You would be a great teacher.”

“You won’t join me?”

“Do you recall how my time at the Jedi Academy ended?”

Rey could feel his pain through the bond, an echo of the heartbreak he had felt when the confrontation with Luke had happened.

“You want to right wrongs, correct? Teaching Force users could be a way to do that.” When he opened his mouth to protest, Rey silenced him with a finger against his lips. “I’m not saying today or tomorrow, but someday in the future. Years from now. The galaxy is huge, and we have a lot to explore.”

“I’ll consider it on one condition.”

“What?”

“Spar with me.”

Unable to resist the challenge written in his eyes, the cocky set of his lips, Rey rolled off him to retrieve the lightsabers. They sparred for hours, both delighting in the challenge of fighting an opponent who could anticipate your actions. It was exhilarating and fun, and it was after they had broken apart, both dripping sweat that she told Ben, “I know who our first student will be.”

She knew he would one day acquiesce to being a teacher; Ben loved everything about the Force, from studying it to using it, and she knew that he would love sharing his knowledge with others. He loved droning on about the intricacies of the Force to her, and she loved listening to his impassioned talks.

Ben straightened, his lips quirked in thought. When he realized who Rey was referring to, he began to walk away. “No. No way,” he called over his shoulder.

Rey ran after him, laughing all the while. “He’s Force-sensitive! He’ll need our help.”

“He’ll be waiting a long time for that help.”

“ _Ben_.”

He stopped and turned to her, exasperation written on his face. “You would like me to show FN-2187 the power of the Force? Very well.” He strode off in the direction of the Resistance base.

Rey knew he was only joking, but she still ran after him. She ran around him and planted her hands on his chest. “Stop! You said you’d behave.”

Ben wrapped an arm around her waist in response and swung her around so that they faced their camp. “You teased me first.”

“Someone has to.”

Ben caught her chin again, ran his thumb over her lip. “You are the most troublesome scavenger I have ever met.”

Then he strode off, leaving her lip tingling. “You’ve met many scavengers?”

Ben looked at her over his shoulder, and his eyes burned with heat and something softer, more tender. “None like you.”

******

Days later, Ben was ready to meet Chewie and Lando. He’d given Rey all the information about the First Order that he could, and they managed to get it transcribed so that it could be transmitted anonymously to the Resistance. Still, it took three days after that for Ben to acquiesce. Rey didn’t push, knowing that Ben needed to work through his own emotions so that he was stable enough to meet with his family. She didn’t want their reunion to be clouded by old feelings and pain, and she knew Ben didn’t either. So she sparred with him when he asked and let him brood when he wanted and slept in his arms, often trading kisses before they fell asleep. It was the happiest she could remember being.

Yet the specter of the reunion, and the fact that she had yet to tell her friends about Ben and their plans remained over her. She wanted them to accept her decisions, to be as happy as she was.

“You’re looking forlorn.”

Rey looked up from the food she had been picking at. “Forlorn?”

“Yes. You’re frowning and your nose is all scrunched up. It’s adorable, but it’s grating on the bond.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t want to trouble him with her problems, not when he had his own. He had his own looming worries and his own demons that he was constantly battling. She wouldn’t add to them. Just as she was thinking that, Ben rose and stalked over to her where she sat on a log. He sat on the ground between her legs, and she instinctively reached out to run her hands through his hair. He leaned into the touch.

“You know this goes both ways, right?”

Her hands stilled. “I’m aware of how the bond works.”

“Not that. I meant…what it is we’re building. I want to be strong for you, Rey. You once said you’d help me turn, and you did. You help me every day. I want to do that for you.”

“I don’t…”

Ben threw his head back so that it was cradled in her lap, then reached up to tap her on the nose. “I know you don’t need me to. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. But you are not alone anymore, Rey. Share your burdens with me.”

Rey looked down into his face, into those brown eyes she so adored for the way they lit up when he was doing something he was passionate about, whether it was sparring or ranting about Jedi history or kissing her. Now, those eyes held infinite patience and tenderness. So she told him of her worries, of her fear that her friends wouldn’t accept them. Of her selfish knowledge that if they didn’t, she would still leave with him. She told him it all, until the weight on her chest lessened. Ben sat silently, listening patiently, as she carded her hands through his hair. He leaned back once more when she finished so that he could look into her eyes. “They love you, Rey. You’re a family. Even if they don’t accept it at first…they will come around eventually. They love you too much to stay angry with you. But if you’re unsure, or you want me to go…”

There it was, Rey thought. That vein of fear that still ran in him, that was likely carved on his heart. He feared she would reject him, cast him away, and he would be alone once more.

“No. You and me, Ben. I promise.” She sealed that promise with a kiss. Together— they would step into this new era together, as they walked to the Falcon together later that evening.

Rey had told Chewie and Lando to meet her there after dusk, and to keep their mouths shut about it. Chewie had been quite indignant about her not letting him in on the secret, but he agreed nonetheless.

Rey could feel Ben’s emotions along the bond, a riot of fear and happiness and guilt and yearning. She squeezed his hand, lent him her steadiness. Ben smiled down at her in thanks. As they approached the Falcon Rey could hear Chewie and Lando inside, arguing over a game of Dejarik. He stopped abruptly just before the ramp, and Rey watched as his gaze roved over the ship.

“He left me so many times on this thing.”

Rey’s heart pinched at the sorrow in his words. Ben was always waiting for people to leave him. She didn’t know what to say to mend the hurt, so she tried a different tactic. She sent her own joy at piloting the Falcon down the bond, sunshine to clear away the darkness his sadness had created.

“Did you ever fly it?”

Ben’s lips quirked, and Rey couldn’t resist the urge to rise on her toes and kiss the corner of his mouth. Ben’s hand tightened around hers in answer.

“Of course. First, he and Chewie would take me flying. Mom always said eight was too young to pilot, but I loved it and they were there in case I did anything wrong. I loved those moments. Everything went still in my head when we went flying. I had to concentrate on the controls and his and Chewie’s bickering made me laugh, feel light. I’d start counting the minutes before we could go again the second we touched down.”

Rey’s eyes stung at his admission, at this piece of his heart that he shared with her. She could see him, a little dark-haired boy flying the Falcon with a lopsided smile on his face. She could feel his joy at being free of the darkness and surrounded by light instead, if only for a while.

“Once when I was about ten, I went with him and Uncle Luke. Uncle Luke said I was undisciplined and Da…Han told him that _bold_ was the word he was looking for, and that I was great. They never took me again together,” he said with a laugh.

The bond was no longer a swirling mass akin to a whirlpool, but an ocean. Still powerful and restless, but as peaceful as something so immense could be. Rey cupped his face and stood on her toes to kiss him. She wanted to taste that laugh, no matter how short it had been. She now knew how to help him; there were happy memories from Ben’s childhood, memories he had pushed away. Every time he was sucked in by a bad one, she would force him to remember a good one. It wouldn’t always work, she knew that. But it was something, a start, a beginning.

They were interrupted by the sound of Lando clearing his throat.

He and Chewie stood at the top of the ramp, and Lando’s eyes went wide as he recognized the man he likely hadn’t seen since he was a boy. Chewie, it seemed, had recognized Ben immediately though his face had been covered by Rey’s hands. He was halfway down the ramp before they were fully apart, howling in Shyriiwook. Rey was already in front of Ben when his words registered. _Is it you?_

“Yes, it’s me. Ben.”

Ben pressed a hand to her lower back and stepped out from behind her. She could feel his amusement shimmering along the bond, probably at her attempt to defend him. Ben met Chewie halfway then stopped. They stared at each other, Ben hopeful and Chewie in sheer joy at having a member of his family back. Then he pulled Ben into a bone-crushing hug while he yelled in his ear about how it had taken him long enough. Ben was still for a while, but gradually the tension left his body and eventually he hugged Chewie back. When at last they broke apart, Lando was waiting.

“Uncle Lando,” Ben said, hesitant once more. But Lando erased that uncertainty when he pulled Ben into a hug of his own. “Ben,” he said. Rey was crying, streaks of tears sliding down her cheeks.

For the first time since she had felt Ben’s emotions, they weren’t clouded. They weren’t diminished by any negative emotion. He felt unburdened, and only once the weight was lifted was Rey able to truly feel how much he had been carrying around. It made his current joy even more potent.

The three walked up the ramp together, Ben in the middle. When they reached the top, Ben glanced over his shoulder and held out a hand to her.

******

Ben had forgotten what home felt like. He had come close with Rey in their clearing, but as he sat around the Falcon that night with her and Chewie and Lando, he remembered. And he wasn’t sad that he hadn’t felt home in so long, just glad that he felt it once more. They talked well into the night, until Lando finally told them to get some sleep before Ben and Rey picked up their story in the morning.

They stayed in bunks in the Falcon rather than returning to the clearing, and as Ben stared up at the bottom of Rey’s bunk, he realized he didn’t want to spend a single night without her beside him.

“I’m cold,” he whispered.

“Too bad. Your uncles are nearby.”

Ben reached out with the Force and lifted her blanket off her.

“ _Ben_.” It was a hiss.

“What?” he asked as he held the blanket in the air, just out of her reach.

Rey jumped off her bunk with a curse and snatched it. But when Ben lifted his blanket, she climbed in and wrapped herself around him with a smile on her face. The bond sang in harmony.

“No kissing,” she whispered.

“I wouldn’t dare.”


	4. Chapter 4

The confrontation between Ben and her friends happened before Rey was ready. Though Rey doubted she could ever be ready for it. Two days after the night on the Falcon, after which Ben and Rey spent every night on the ship with Chewie, Finn pulled her aside. He asked her about her recent behavior, her secretiveness, and begged her to tell him what was going on. He had looked so worried that it sent a pang to Rey’s heart. Her best friend had been worrying for no reason; Rey was the happiest she had ever been, and her heart only held excitement for the future. So, she had resigned herself to the reality of the confrontation and told herself the sooner it happened the sooner it would be over with. If the result wasn’t what she wanted…

_No, don’t think about that._

She thought of Ben’s comforting words, that her friends loved her and would accept her, and she found the courage to tell Finn to bring Poe and Rose to the Falcon. Hours later, she waited at the edge of the ramp while Ben and Chewie waited at the top. Rey watched the trio emerge from the trees, all three laughing at something that Poe was saying. Rey watched as their smiles fell and shock replaced their joy. Poe let out a shout, and Rose stopped in her tracks.

Rey watched as Finn pulled a blaster and took aim at Ben, then she watched as that blaster flew out of Finn’s hand. She turned to find Ben holding it and making a face at her that said, _you told me to behave, what about him?_

Then Chewie shouted a warning and Ben said, “Don’t even think about it, flyboy.”

Poe had been preparing to pull his own blaster. Resigned to the fact that her friends would never accept her happiness, Rey began to walk toward them. “What is this, Rey?” Finn asked.

Rey wrung her hands, unsure where to begin. Before she could respond, Poe stalked past her and to the edge of ramp where Chewie put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“I’ll tell you what this is. That’s fucking Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order!” Poe shouted.

Ben merely leaned against the ship wall and said, “Former.”

“Rey, has he done something to you?” asked Finn, and Rey wanted to throw up.

Chewie shouted again, defending Ben, and Poe scowled up at Chewie like he didn’t recognize him. “What the hell is going on?”

It was Rose’s soft voice that pulled Rey out of her panic-induced haze. “Will you explain this to us, Rey?” Her brown eyes were soft when Rey looked up, no judgement to be seen. She was withholding her judgement until after Rey explained. It gave her hope that Finn and Poe would do the same.

Rey took a big breath and tried to begin. “This is Ben. He…he’s turned. He’s no longer Kylo Ren, or the Supreme Leader, or any of that.”

“That’s bullshit!” Poe exclaimed. “He’s a war criminal that the New Republic should throw in prison!”

Rey found that someone threatening Ben was something that she would not stand for. “You try to touch him and you’ll have to go through me! Now, do you trust me enough to explain things to you, or not? If not, you can leave now.”

Finn’s shoulders slouched, as if he were ashamed. “It’s not about if we trust you or not, Rey.”

“What is it about, then?” Ben’s deep, steady voice from behind her. They had been practicing sending deliberate feelings across the bond, and now he sent comforting waves, though his version of comfort was more impassioned strength and determination than soft feeling. Rey loved it nonetheless.

“It’s about you being a murdering tyrant and part of the First Order,” snapped Poe.

“Who do you think sent that transmission about Order personnel, flyboy?” Ben turned to regard Finn. “Or the stormtrooper training bases? You think that was some underling who got lucky and found that information?”

That gave them enough pause for Rose to step forward and speak. “I want to hear Rey’s story. If you guys don’t, you can leave.”

Poe let out a string of curses but didn’t leave. Finn looked at Rey, arms-crossed and trying his best not to glare at Ben over her shoulder.

Rey told them everything. She began with her interrogation at Ben’s hands, at the feeling that had passed between them. She told them of the Force visions and how he had helped her find her place as a Force user when Luke didn’t want to train her. She told them of her trip to Snoke’s Destroyer and how, when it came time to choose between her and Snoke, Ben had killed Snoke. She explained his desire to kill Palpatine together and how he had killed the Knights of Ren and come into that awful, cave-like place to help her, knowing that he would probably die as a result. She explained how when she _did_ die, Ben had saved her. She explained the bond– though she treaded lightly with that personal, intimate thing that was the best gift she had ever or would ever receive­–and how she could feel Ben’s feelings of guilt and regret, as well as his desire to move forward. When she was done, she searched her friends faces.

In Rose’s, she found a wavering smile and tears glimmering in her eyes.

In Poe’s, she saw only confusion as he stared at Ben where he stood, now next to Chewie on the ramp.

In Finn’s, she saw only hurt and anger, and Rey couldn’t help but remember the way that Finn had always referred to Ben as “Ren” with unveiled hatred.

Rose placed her hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Remember what I told you. Save what we love.”

Finn stepped out from under her hand and turned to face her. “You’re okay with this?”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m okay with this. It’s Rey’s life, and this is what she wants to do. She trusts and accepts him, and I trust her.”

Admiration rippled down the bond from Ben, and Rey agreed with the sentiment. Finn turned to Poe. “What do you say?”

“I didn’t want to lead the Resistance. There have been so many times that I’ve felt clueless, like I was going to ruin everything. Every time that happened, I thought of what Leia would do in my position. Now…I’m uncertain again. But I know what Leia would do. This was her dream, even when no one else believed it possible.”

Rey couldn’t help herself, and she ran to hug Poe. He returned the hug but pointed at Ben behind her. “I still hate you for that interrogation.”

Ben only shrugged.

Rey hugged Rose next. When she released her, Poe was returning to the base while Finn stalked into the trees. “He’s just hurt, Rey,” Rose murmured.

She could understand Finn’s hurt; he was her closest friend, yet she hadn’t told him of any of her struggles. As she turned to go after him, she heard Ben say to Rose, “So you’re the one who bit Hux.”

Rey heard the first notes of Rose’s laughter before the trees closed around her. She walked along her old training path and listened to the myriad noises around her, felt the Force humming with life. It calmed her, cleared her negative emotions away. She found Finn near the gorge her balance beam lay over, looking into its depths.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she whispered.

He didn’t look at her. “Why didn’t you?”

Rey plopped onto the ground beside him, swung her legs over the emptiness of the gorge. “I was so confused. I couldn’t sort out my own feelings about him let alone express them. I didn’t know what a dyad was, how it was possible I was feeling things that belonged to another. For a while, I thought that I was mad.” Finn sat down next to her, and when he took her hand in his, she continued. “After Snoke’s death, I realized that my feelings for him were deeper. I had hope he would turn, but it was also more than that. I felt desperate for him to turn, because then I wouldn’t feel bad about the things I felt for him. Knowing him now, I feel awful for being ashamed of my feelings, but I was.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m proud. I’m proud of him, Finn. He has been through so much and he carries guilt over all of it, even for things he shouldn’t.”

Finn sighed and turned away to look across the gorge. “It’s hard to accept. All this time, I felt like we were running from him. I thought he was the enemy. I thought you felt the same way, despite the bond, and then I see him on the Falcon with you and Chewie and learn you never saw him the way I did.”

“I did at first. But things became more…complicated.”

Finn let out a humorless laugh. “And now they’re less complicated?”

Rey smiled and leaned her shoulder against his, relieved to have her friend back. There was hurt between them, but they could work through it. He was her very first friend. They were family. “Surprisingly, yes they are. I know what I want now, where I belong.”

“What do you want, Rey?”

They sat on the ridge of the gorge for hours as Rey told him of all the places she wanted to see, the places her and Ben and even Chewie would explore. Finn was now a leader of the Resistance and would play a role in stabilizing the New Republic, but she would visit. Distance wouldn’t change the strength of their friendship. They sat there until the forest gleamed golden around them as the sun set, and when they broke apart it was free of hurt.

In the ensuing days, Rey worked to get her friends and Ben more acquainted. Ben was shy and hid behind his intimidating presence, but Rey got the feeling that Rose saw right through his demeanor. She often caught him hiding a smile at some of the things she said.

Rey managed to talk Ben into sparring with Finn, _gently,_ though he had required payment. She smiled as she remembered the sighs and moans he had wrung from her in “payment”. That sparring match had involved many curses and arguments, but Rey and Rose had a great time watching. Poe was often away dealing with Resistance business or chasing Zorii, but he joined when he could. Even if he watched Ben with a forehead-creasing frown every time.

A week after her friends had learned of her relationship with Ben, they were ready to leave. Ben watched her hug her friends from the top of the ramp, though after saying goodbye to Rey, Rose had run up and stolen a hug. Ben’s face had been a comical mix of shock and discomfort. Rey cried as she hugged Finn, but calmed herself with the reminder that she would see him soon. When he pulled away, Finn spoke to Ben. “You’ll keep her safe?”

For once, Ben didn’t treat Finn with contempt. He was deadly serious when he replied, “with my life.”

Rey waved to her friends as they took off from Ajan Kloss and watched them until they were obscured by the trees. She sat on Ben’s lap, his arms wrapped around her. Chewie was piloting them to Takodana, where he would spend a few months rebuilding with Maz while Ben and Rey did some exploring of their own. Ben reached up to release one of her buns. “Where would you like to go, Rey of Jakku?”

She loved that he didn’t call her Palpatine. Her parents may have been strong and brave, but the name they bore was an ugly stain Rey had yet to come to terms with. She had their love, and that meant more than a last name ever could.

“Everywhere.”

******

Ben and Rey had their first argument, over matters besides dark versus light and galactic order, before leaving Takodana. They had spent a few days with Maz and Chewie and were preparing to take off to begin their adventure when they both realized that neither of them wanted to be co-pilot. Rey stood in the doorway to the cockpit, arms folded and legs spread apart. She thought she looked tough, but Ben called the stance adorable.

He stood before her, his arms reaching above them to grasp the frame of the sliding door to the cockpit. He was crowding her with his body, something that always heated Rey’s blood and made her blush. And he knew it.

“You flew us to Ajan Kloss after facing off with Palpatine. It’s my turn.”

“It was _my_ X-wing.”

Ben leaned even closer and Rey tried her best to ignore the warm, masculine scent of him. “Technically it was Luke’s. And you had just died, but I still let you pilot because I can deny you nothing, apparently. You owe me,” he finished. Then he had the nerve to look at her with a sad, distinctly porg-like look in his eyes.

Rey’s frown deepened and Ben smiled, knowing he had her caught. “Don’t you want to see how I fly?”

He knew she was a curious creature, loved every little bit he told her of him. She was always clamoring for knowledge. About him, the Jedi, the history of the Republic, anything. The night before, he had stroked his hand up and down her bare back while telling her all he knew of his grandmother Padmé. Afterwards, she had decided that the first stop after they returned to pick up Chewie would be Naboo.

Ben leaned closer and waited her out, knowing that her curiosity would lead her to cave.

*

Rey _did_ want to watch Ben pilot the Falcon. She loved watching him fight, all intensity and raw masculine strength. To watch him fly, something she loved so much herself…her cheeks flamed even more. She also had an ulterior motive—she wanted Ben to reconnect with his childhood and father through the Falcon, and this was a chance. He likely didn’t realize now during their little game, but he would eventually realize he sat where his father had sat so often. She hoped it would bring him peace. And so she stretched up onto her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his jaw before taking the co-pilot’s seat.

*

They stopped first on Ilum, a freezing, desolate ice planet where Rey located a kyber crystal she would use to build her lightsaber. It was the coldest, most barren planet Rey had ever been to. Not even a lifetime on Jakku could make her appreciate the cold. Ben used the cold as an excuse to sleep in the same bunk, naked, though they both knew they would’ve ended up that way anyway, though they had yet to be together completely.

On Coruscant, where Rey discovered there was such a thing as too many people and too many buildings, Ben helped Rey build her lightsaber. The resulting double-bladed lightsaber was a magnificent yellow. When Ben had seen the finished saberstaff he had kissed her forehead and murmured, “Perfect for you. Like sunshine.” The saberstaff was now her most prized possession. They didn’t remain on Coruscant for long, both of them eager to get away from the noise and commotion. Ben had taken her there only because he thought that, as the antithesis to the emptiness of Jakku, Rey would enjoy it. She loved that he thought of such things, but she found that she was similar to him in preferring quiet, or at least something a bit less loud than Coruscant.

They traveled to Jakku next, where Rey picked up her meager belongings. She even took Ben to the ruined Star Destroyer she had scavenged last before meeting BB-8. When he saw the high places she used to climb with little regard for her safety, he’d nearly gone apoplectic before kissing her breathless. Later, on their way back from the Destroyer, she told him of Unkar Plutt and he’d threatened to kill the man. She had had to drag him into her AT-AT to distract him. When he’d seen the wall with the marks counting the days since her parents left, he’d dragged her into his arms. And then, in the place where she had spent so many lonely years, Ben told her he loved her, and they made love for the first time. After, Rey told him she loved him too, and watching the light fill his eyes, feeling the pure joy shimmering through the bond, it was the most beautiful thing Rey had ever experienced.

They stopped on Tatooine last, when they had another few days before they needed to pick up Chewie from Takodana before they all headed to Naboo together. Rey wanted to see where Luke had come from, and though Ben rolled his eyes at the mention of his uncle, it was now a gesture without malice. And because, as he’d said, he could deny her nothing, he went without complaint besides the occasional “kriffing sad planets” remark. As they traveled to the remains of Luke’s home, Rey couldn’t help but think of Tatooine and its place in the history of the Skywalker family. Many dark memories, she thought, from Anakin and Luke’s bleak childhoods to Leia’s imprisonment. For Anakin and Luke, it wasn’t a true home, not in the sense that she had a home with Ben and he with her. For the Skywalkers, Tatooine was a beginning. A starting point for their stories, the ashes from which they rose. Now, it would be a beginning for Ben too. They stood watching the twin suns dip, glowing a brilliant red-orange as they sunk below the sands, the bond humming between them, the Force balanced and at peace.

Ben lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to Rey’s fingers. “To many more adventures?”

Rey smiled, and to Ben, it was more brilliant than the dual suns. “As many as forever holds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annndd THIS is how I wanted TROS to end. Hope you enjoyed :)

**Author's Note:**

> Reylo fic recs are always welcome (:


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